Before he could test out the feasibility of that theory, a faint buzzing sound drew his attention to the couch. Suddenly he noticed a sleek white phone that had blended into the fabric. If not for its sudden vibration he probably would’ve missed it completely. Felix hesitated before picking it up, the smooth metal cool against his fingers. A notification glowed on the screen:
‘New Voice Message: Pet Bureau, Main Branch, Mzia’, it read.
Felix frowned. “Pet Bureau?” His thumb hovered over the play button before curiosity got the better of him. At the same time, he supposed Mzia was the name of this city. He filed the thought for later.
You c an fi nd t he la te st cha pte rs at ( th e bl mu se . c o m )
A clipped, bureaucratic voice filled the room: “Good evening, Mr. Felix Bloodstone. This is a reminder from the Pet Bureau. You have a scheduled 10 o’clock appointment tomorrow morning at our main branch in Mzia to finalize your paperwork and pick up the humans you’ve chosen. Please do not forget to bring a valid ID, which can be either work or school. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact your assigned catworker. We wish you a purrfect day!”
The phone slipped from his fingers and landed on the couch with a soft thud. Felix stared at it as though it had grown teeth.
“Pet Bureau… humans?” he repeated, the words tasting strange in his mouth.
“Human pets?!” Ruby eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets and even the soft silvery strands of hair stood on end.
The absurdity of the situation struck him like a lightning bolt. Felix’s initial assumption—that he was just a regular human who’d transmigrated into another human body—finally started to crumble, the last metaphorical crack dealing a decisive blow.
His breath quickened, and a strange sensation crept over him—a tingling, pulling feeling deep in his bones. His body felt… off. Before he could make sense of it, the world seemed to tilt. His legs gave way, his hands braced against the floor—except they weren’t hands anymore.
Felix gasped, looking down in horror. His arms had shortened, his fingers melted into soft pads tipped with tiny claws. His skin was no longer pale but covered in the softest, fluffiest white fur he had ever seen. A long, plume-like tail swished behind him, entirely beyond his control.
“No, no, no!” Felix’s voice came out in a startled yowl, high-pitched and panicked.
He scrambled to his feet—or rather, his paws—his new feline body lurching awkwardly. His enhanced senses suddenly surged to overwhelming levels. He could hear the faint ticking of a clock in another room, smell the faint delicious aroma of minty candles mingled with the metallic tang of his phone. His reflection in the glass of the coffee table confirmed his fears: he was now a disheveled yet undeniably regal-looking albino cat, his ruby-red eyes wide with shock.
The voice message hadn’t been some weird prank or a misunderstanding. He wasn’t just living in a world where cats owned humans as pets—he was one of those cats.
Felix flopped onto the floor in disbelief, tail twitching involuntarily. “This can’t be real. This has to be some kind of hallucination. That brick-purse must have left me in a coma…”
Even though he said this, he could still hear something shatter with a pitiful whine. That was the sound of his shaky worldview finally crumbling completely under the strain of the revelations.
He wasn’t even given the courtesy of pretending the message to be some sort of really elaborate, incredibly weird prank!
His stewing in resentment was interrupted by the buzz of the phone again. It vibrated furiously on the couch, its screen lighting up with an incoming call.
“Oh, great, what is it this time,” Felix muttered. His voice came out as a plaintive meow. And then realizing his situation, “But how am I supposed to answer that?!”
He scrambled to his paws, jumping onto the couch with an ungraceful thud. His new feline instincts, though unbidden, guided him with a surprising burst of dexterity as he pawed at the screen, swiping to answer the call.
“Hello?” Felix croaked, his voice an odd mix of a feline purr and his human speech.
“Ah, good evening, Mr. Bloodstone!” came a chipper, overly rehearsed voice that was strangely not much different from the crisp bureaucratic tones of the Pet Bureau’s. “This is Lysander with the Combat Division! I’m calling to formally congratulate you on your acceptance into the trainee program. We’re thrilled to have a Regal One of your pedigree joining our ranks!”
“Uh… thanks?” Felix replied weakly, still trying to process the absurdity of having just spoken into a phone as a cat.
Lysander didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. “As a reminder, your first day of training begins in one week. Please report to Headquarters at 8:00 a.m. sharp. We understand it’s always a bit chaotic for fresh graduates stepping outside the Ivory Sanctuary and into society for the first time. However, we have all the faith that you will handle everything wonderfully! So remember, your first day is next week, and don’t forget to bring any new pet registration paperwork!”
Felix stared at the phone, his ears twitching involuntarily. “Yeah, uh, sure. Paperwork. Got it.”
“Excellent! Have a great evening, Mr. Bloodstone. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions. And remember, the Combat Division is here to protect and serve!”
The call ended with a cheerful click, leaving Felix staring at the phone, his fur bristling.
“Combat Division? What combat? Why would I—oh. Oh, no. They expect me to fight?”
His mind reeled with new possibilities. What kind of world had he landed in? Did he really have to fight? Against what? He glanced at his reflection in the glass again.
“You’re joking,” he muttered, addressing his own fluffy visage. “I’m supposed to be some kind of warrior? Looking like this? I look like a cloud had an allergic reaction!”
He slumped back onto the couch, a small puff of fur floating into the air as he exhaled sharply. His mind raced, trying to piece together this insane new reality. Not only was he a cat in a world where cats seemed to be running things, but he was also apparently a member of some elite Combat Division—and he had human pets waiting for him to pick them up.
“This is… this is insane,” Felix muttered, staring up at the ceiling. “I didn’t even want a goldfish, let alone a person. No, wait. It’s people. As in more than one?!”
Round ruby eyes became even more round as he jumped to his feet (paws), his tail flicking erratically behind him. That furry face somehow managed to express an imminent meltdown.
He started pacing again and tried to think of a plan, anything that might help him regain some semblance of control. But every time he tried to focus, his new feline instincts distracted him. The way the rug crinkled under his paws felt oddly satisfying, and he couldn’t resist straying to the squat cabinet full of colorful toys and shiny trinkets.
For a moment, any thoughts of plans flew out the window as large ruby eyes stared unblinkingly. By the time Felix realized it, he had smooshed his cat face against the glass doors of the cabinet.
“Stop that,” he told himself, shaking his head. “Focus, Felix. You’re a human—no, wait, you’re a cat now. A Regal One, apparently. Whatever that means.”
He took a deep breath—or tried to. The strange new mechanics of his body made it feel more like a huff. The minty scent hit his nose again and he sneezed, nearly toppling over. Still, the delicious scent did manage to calm his nerves slightly.
“Okay,” he said aloud, his voice less purr and more human now. “I can do this. Tomorrow, I’ll figure out this whole ‘human pet’ thing. And the Combat Division. And whatever madness this insane world throws at me.”
For a moment, he simply sat there, tail swishing idly as he stared out the floor-to-ceiling windows. The city lights twinkled in the distance, a strange mix of familiarity and alienness. The skyline looked vaguely like his old home, but the shapes of the buildings were sleeker, more organic, as if they had grown rather than been built.
“…”
“…”
“Now if only someone could tell me how to turn back into a human that would be great, thanks?!”
A frustrated yowl broke the short-lived peaceful silence that had settled in the room just now.
You c an fi nd t he la te st cha pte rs at ( th e bl mu se . c o m )
He had no idea how to navigate this bizarre new life, let alone how to manage human pets! But right now, gaining control of his forms seemed to be the greatest priority. Even if this world was run by cats, he couldn’t very well stay a furball forever, could he?!
For one thing, he couldn’t imagine bureaucracies being able to work without employees possessing opposable thumbs.
As for tomorrow’s disaster, he’ll leave it for tomorrow. Burn that bridge when you come to it and all that.
AN: This is a product of a tentacle wielding plot bunny. Please let me know what you think! I enjoy hearing speculations, ideas, even wishes on what readers might want to see more of!